Once upon a time I made a blog about video games. And this is what's left of it (mostly tweets).

1 June 2012

Metal Gear Rising Revengeance: Worst trailer of the year, or worst trailer ever? Wronnng!

Not to be a conservative old fart, but the Tomb Raider: The Hunger Games, trailer makes me completely lose interest in that reboot.

2 June

Hiragana Pixel Party for iOS

This is exactly the kind of kana-teaching app / game I’ve always been looking for. Seems well thought-out all around, and it’s free(mium). It’s just a pity that I’m not very good at rhythm games.

4 June

Installing Diablo 3: of course it saturates my connection, but it also taunts me with a grayed-out “Downloader Preferences” menu option. Fu.

Diablo 3 installer keeps failing on my crappy connection and isn’t even capable of resuming. Fuck Blizzard; sorry I used up a guest pass.

I think I have caught up with everything I missed during the Microsoft conference, and Halo 4 is the only game I’m vaguely interested in.

Though the Wii U-killer is interesting. It’ll be fun if it actually gets people to buy iPads for their Microsoft console.

The Zombi U trailer is really well done; pity it demonstrates a complete lack of awareness of Dead Island’s actual reception.

5 June

Surprisingly — after the horribly protracted introduction — I’m quite impressed with the dialogue in Watch Dogs. And, well, the rest, too.

RT @Flipyap: Be sure to sign up for Uplay to get exclusive bonus content for the game about corporations having too much knowledge of your habits/data.

I was gonna snark that Assassin’s Creed never needed a galleon simulator but, you know what, it looks well done enough to be worth adding.

RT @alex_navarro: The Last of Us gets the thing right that nearly every game gets wrong: hand-to-hand combat looks like it fucking HURTS.

Watch Dogs surprised me with good writing, but The Last of Us convinces me on the more important gameplay and atmosphere aspects. Winner of the day — and that’s coming from someone who hates playing the Uncharted games.

SmartGlass is a great product name that would deserve a better, more important use than just “control your Xbox from your iPad.”

Didn’t expect to write this today, but Zombi U seems to use the gimmickpad in interesting ways that might even be fun. Looks well designed.

9 June

Finally got the opportunity to try Gears 3’s Beast mode, and it’s as fun as I expected (on small maps).

13 June

18 June

Indie Game: The Movie — Thoroughly uninteresting, beyond the curiosity of meeting the guys, which lasts all of five minutes.

22 June

The ME3 extended ending will require to load a save pre-Banshee Central. So not worth it they might as well release straight to YouTube.

Wait. It’s not pre-Banshee Central, it’s pre-Cerberus Base. Are they insane?

26 June

If the original Star Wars trilogy had ended like Mass Effect did

Sorry to beat a dead horse, but the release of the Extended Cut revived online discussions a bit, so I only just thought of this analogy and I want to write it down somewhere. (Vague spoilers if you haven’t seen Return of the Jedi and played Mass Effect 3.)

The scene takes place on Endor. The scooby gang has just been captured by Ewoks, C3P0 is their god and is playing the role of his life: translator, and also god.

 

 

C3PO

They say they’ve been waiting for us. They’ve been watching us all along and waiting for us to get here. They say they control the midichlorians.

 

LUKE

The… what?

 

C3PO

They say the Force is the power of midichlorians. They are inside you. The more you use the Force, the more the midichlorians control you. And the Ewoks control the midichlorians because they’re the spirits of their ancestors.

 

LUKE

Uh… okay.

 

C3PO

And they say they’ve been waiting for the last jedi to come here so they could ask him what he wants to do with that power. They can keep doing what they were doing, or they can relinquish control to you and you’ll have to stay here forever, or they can send all the midichlorians in the universe to Ewok Heaven, and all jedi will die. It’s up to you.

(beat)

You need to choose NOW.

 

LUKE

I… I don’t know… I guess… I don’t want to have control over them, I don’t want to have control over the Emperor and the empire and my father and… really, nobody should have this control. Yeah, nobody should have such a power, so release the miniclaws or whatever.

 

LUKE, LEIA and HAN SOLO all look at each other with TEARS in their eyes, or the closest approximation in HAN SOLO’s case. R2D2 WHISTLES MOURNFULLY.

 

C3PO

It is done.

 

C3PO’s eyes FADE OUT and he SLUMPS ON HIS THRONE because he had MIDICHLORIANS in his system ever since ANAKIN made him. LUKE, LEIA and HAN SOLO are OFF-SCREEN; we HEAR LEIA CRY OUT.

 

DISSOLVE TO: DEATH STAR, EMPEROR’S OFFICE

 

The EMPEROR DISAPPEARS, his CLOAK FALLS TO THE GROUND. Behind him, DARTH VADOR straightens up, then suddenly FALLS TO THE GROUND.

 

DISSOLVE TO: SPACE

 

The DEATH STAR EXPLODES.

 

TITLE CARD: THE END.

I’d forgotten quite how infurating the kid’s speech was. Listening to it again is torture.

I’d say the extended endings are (a tiny bit) worse, because of the way they messed up the music that held that shit together.

27 June

RT @Flipyap: Mass Effect 3’s “Synthesis” ending’s idea of a solution to racism is equivalent to a drive-by blackface. Science fiction had a good-ish run.

29 June

Pocket Planes is the worst kind of game — it’s terribly addictive, and it’s not even remotely a game.

30 June

Enjoying Spec Ops: The Line so far, but it’s a shame how dull they made it look. Yeah, I know, sand everywhere. But it’s so dull.

Looks like Spec Ops puts all the dull and boring parts at the start and takes a while to reveal its awesome setpieces. Ambitious choice.

Spec Ops: The Line isn’t perfect and the story’s as coherent as a Lindelof script, but I enjoyed it more than any shooter in recent memory.

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